One life is not enough
by agirlwrites
Summary: Do you see the glamour? the heritage? the walls of this house are steeped in history, you may die but you will never leave because one life is not enough when you are a Cullen it's never enough
1. Chapter 1

This story is going to be a political thriller with generous amounts of Bella and Edward thrown in for good measure

If you ask the people of this country about the Cullen's the majority of them would recognize the name in the first instance, some would say "ah! the Senator from Illinois", some would say "that godforsaken Democrat ,what about him?" the younger female demographic who have no stakes in politics would giggle and say "yes those handsome boys,the copper-haired one and the blonde one, they are so hot",my point is that the Cullen's are well-known, a dying breed they jokingly call themselves although those who are intimate with the family would tell you that they don't mean it as a joke at all.

A family where great alliances were made,a family whose ancestors were involved in the declaration of independence, a family with a long line of Harvard and Yale graduates, where the men are the epitome of opinionated masculinity and the women graceful, unimposing femininity.

Like any other epic saga mine too started when I came in contact with this family cause let's face it ordinary people like me don't have an otherworldly story to tell unless they come in contact with some sort of cosmic energy.

I will stumble and make mistakes as I say what I have to say but I have to say it. There is so much buried in here,so much that it is making me restless, it's like a rush of adrenaline, these words they are jumping in my mind rendering all my other senses dull. They are a silent cacophony, tangled web of vowels and consonants, humming along my veins zapping my body with this strange energy. I feel as if it is time someone heard me, even though I know no one is going to hear me just these monogrammed pages and my silver monogrammed pen, a fine set of stationery a birthday gift from my mother-in-law.

For as long as I have been married I have received this exact stationary as a birthday present from my mother-in-law every year, I have written hundreds of notes on them, to my husband,to my parents,colleagues,my in-laws,friends and each time I tore off a page from this note-pad a feeling of accomplishment overcame my senses, I was making good use of the gift she had given me and using it for the purpose she intended, and I knew what her intentions were because her exact words to me had been "Edward told me you are fond of writing, so I had these specially made for you, people nowadays don't write enough, I am thinking of starting a petition for making students write their papers instead of typing them mandatory in schools."

My mother thought that the act of giving me the same gift especially a monogrammed one was something of a royal habit,her words not mine "they are cultured folks like to maintain a consistency", my father thought so too.

My husband the astute, somewhat machiavellian,golden-eyed boy of the family had been too excited for me to open his present and his eager glee had stolen the thunder like it always had,lately I am not so sure of it but once I had been.

Since you have been with me for as long as I have been in this house and I have taken something from you little by little to expose my gratitude, my apologies,my raunchiness to my husband. I feel as if you are the only one who knows me, not the me the Cullens say I am but the actual me, the Isabella Cullen who came to Chicago five years ago to work for a PR firm, the Isabella Cullen who was once a Swan, the one who is a Husky in the sea of pilgrims and bull dogs.

As you already know I was in therapy for the first time today, I did not like her even though she came generously recommended, a batch mate of Edward's, Esme and Carlisle know her too and I suspect he might have dated her in college even though when I asked him he outright I know he did there was something in her eyes today when she was staring at me appearing to be serene, but scrutinising every aspect of my appearance,staring a little too long at my ring finger, if I say all this to Edward he would just say I am being delusional and plant a kiss on my lips, he has been doing it a lot these days, planting kisses on me out of nowhere.

Have to say I like it though, the way he cradles my face when he kisses me then closes his eyes and breathes me in and sometimes gives me a supplementary smooch, it feels good to be loved again,there is nothing in this world that could be better than the feeling of reciprocation, the person you love loves you back whole-heartedly,what could be better than that? Maybe what happened two weeks ago on Sunday really scared him,scared him enough to love me back again.

I am thinking of talking about this feels good to be loved again thing with that satan in the chair, want to see if she calls it normal or needy, I know I am crazy for playing with my mental well-being but I have to spend my time some how before the mandatory 4 weeks therapy with her ends then I can find an actual therapist one who isn't harboring a vendetta against me and a stupid crush on my priapic husband, a male doctor maybe?

It's almost six so now I have to rush now I can hear Edward's muted footsteps on the hallway, we are having dinner with his parents,that's what he told him but I know that they are here to make sure that I haven't set this place on fire and killed their son,apparently I am at that level of crazy.

The expansive chandelier looms over us its yellow light bathing the great dining hall, trying its best to mimic a candle-lit environment, but that's not what Edward looks like under the light of a candle, the edges of his jaw do not appear so sharp, the harsh lines are evened out under the candle light, the smooth expanse of his shoulder which is now covered in a taylor made black suit glow and feels as smooth as butter, last night I got so close to taking off his black boxers but he stopped at the last moment. He wants me to concentrate on getting better but what I need is to forget.I can feel my blush coming and avert my eyes just as Edward turns his towards me it locks for a second before we look away me breaking away from the worried intensity and lo and behold they land on his mother sited across from me. She looks worried but she doesn't have to be I won't do anything drastic in here not in their prized family home, the home that should have gone to Jasper since it was willed to the first-born but his parents thought it was befitting for the future president and so Edward inherited it, Jasper who as promised by Esme is missing from the scene along with his wife Alice.

Enjoy I plan on updating very soon and remember reviews equal love so send my way some


	2. TWO

A huge thank you to all those who followed,favorited and reviewed, this chapter goes out to you guys now without further delay let's get into it

You would never believe what happened after Edward's parents left last night, oh I cannot contain my glee, we made love, hot,wet, passionate,romantic,out-of-this world love three times at one point I am pretty sure I saw Jesus and the twelve apostles and afterwards we both passed out from sheer exuberance.

I don't know what brought that on,maybe me begging the night before had really weakened his resolve,maybe he missed the intimacy as much as I did or maybe it was because of what happened on that one Sunday.

Whatever might be the reason you won't find this girl complaining, all I want right now is a repeat of last night's performance and since I am on an extended leave from work on "health reasons" there is nothing to occupy my mind and it's all I can think about.

The way his face contorted while he whispered my name,the way he buried his head in my neck and demanded that I kiss him,if this had happened a year ago I would have not sat down here and romanticised them,would have laughed at my recollections and sent a x-rated text to Edward before diving back into work.

But now things are different, I hate to admit this but even we are different, not the same Edward and Bella who spent their Sunday mornings on bed, not the same Edward and Bella who loved brunching at the popover pantry and definitely not the same people who finished a bottle of wine in one night giggling into oblivion and spilling wine on the sheets.

Life always finds ways to change us,in school I remember learning about the Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, the one that stated all species of organisms arise and develop through the **natural selection** of small, inherited variations that increase the individual's ability to compete, survive, and reproduce.b called it natural mutation,things change to survive and thrive and though he did not mean it in a poetic sense I took it that that age when everything was changing,everybody was mutating,leaving behind old groups,joining new cliques,making enemies out of friends and friends out of strangers at that phase of my life somewhere between my clothes becoming tighter in weird places and hair growing in difficult to reach areas, Darwin's theory came as a blessing.

I never looked at change as something intrusive any longer,change became welcome and neccessity, a means to thrive but now I have realised that those changes were incredibly minute,nanodots on the topography of life.

Now that the big changes have started to show up,changes in my marriage,changes in my relationships I can no longer find comfort in that age old theory. All I can think about is that things were good why did you have to intrude now?I was thriving before you came along,but as it has always done change refuses to listen to me.

Another change came along recently in the form of a pink note from Alice. I don't know how she managed to pass along a note,whose help did she take? the last I heard was that security was tight and she was not allowed to contact me hell even Edward wanted nothing to do with her.

I found this pink parchment in a beige envelope sitting on my desk this evening after I came back from therapy,which I will tell you all about in a some ways I am flattered that Alice went to the great extent of writting something down,an activity she blatantly distates but since calling and texting is strictly forbideen that was the only she get a passenger pigeon to deliver her notes? cause that would be kinda cool.

But the most tumultuous question is whether or not Edward should be told of this.I want to tell him,I really do,I don't like keeping things from him,the secret weighs me down but I don't want to loose my friend once again,not until I know what actually happened that night,because no one besides Alice remembers and according to Edward she won't muss up.

Maybe I should tell Edward,he is trying so hard now,he really does feel guilty and if I want to salvage my marriage my friendship has to be left to its ruins.I feel like a traitor but when it comes to my husband and my best friend there is never any doubt as to whom I would choose,I am pretty sure that if it ever came to choosing between me and Jasper,Alice would do the same.

The truth for now has to wait, truth can stand the test of time,my rocky marriage might to be honest even if my marriage does not survive I know I will never get over Edward,even after all that he put me through I cannot envision a future without him.

I will tell him about the note,yes I will,tonight I will do it this very night. Now that is resolved let me tell about what happened in therapy today.

The queen bitch or satan in a chair did indeed call my musings of "it feels good to be loved" signs of neediness and said "it was deprecating to my self-esteem"oh muzzy shuzzy she can use all the fancy words she wants but her transparent jealousy is well transparent.

She prescribed me some meds said she would send the list to "Edward" and I told her "just the 't trouble yourself with the pills" cause I guessed she wanted to go the extra mile and not just give me the prescription,no wonder to gain brownie points with my husband but I ain't taking pills from a loony who wouldn't think twice about sending me six feet under or to the loony bin for the price of my husband.

She looked at me a few seconds longer scrutinising me but I did not budge,stare at me all you want lady just keep your pill samples to yourself.

Oh and Esme called today while I was sunbathing in the patio, thanking me for dinner last night,since when does she thank me for something as frivolous as a private dinner for four that was cooked and served by someone else,the only thing that I did was sit and move food around my plate. I have helped her organise masked and never gotten a heartfelt word of thanks in private,in public she quite generously thanks me,keeping up with her doting mother-in-law act,but in private like she did this afternoon nah never.

Maybe I should say it to her outright that I have no intention of killing myself in her ancestral home but that would probably push her over the edge rather than comforting keeping up with pretense we or rather she chit chatted for a bit I gave the necessary answers,she invited me for a "ladies with a cause tea" and I declined cause I am a lady with a job who goes back to work next 't contain my joy on that.

All I can hear are muffled voices damn heavy oak doors! I expected Edward to fly into a fit of rage when I mentioned Alice's note but he just calmly asked me about the where's and when's and excused himself to his study. I could see his jaw ticking when I was talking about the note and the jaw ticker is the piece-de-resistance of his ire.

I have seen the ticking jaw only once before,when I went club hopping for Alice's birthday, she took away my phone because she did not want to share me her words and Alice being Alice by which I mean flamboyant,carefree,throw caution to the sharks kinda person lost our security detail and did not tell me about the fifty three times my phone times the jaw ticked because of Alice,though the first time I was also some what guilty,all the layerings of my then new life had started to suffocate me and the moment of freedom Alice had stolen for us made me reckless and greedy.

I can't take this anymore Edward disappeared behind those doors about an hour ago he did not even take off his work clothes before disappearing in there with his head of security.I push open the wooden barrier without bothering to knock first. Edward is sitting on his chair and he and Raul are reviewing the surveillance tapes I think. They both look up Edward looks a little startled and for a second I think he is going to ask me to wait outside,I am fully ready to argue my case if he does so but his brow smooths itself and he concentrates on the screen again. I take that as my cue and enter.

"what did you find?",he sighs "nothing unusual in the premises,she got the letter in through the postal service,one of the two routes we did not cover","What is the other route?","air drop" he says and the stubborn set of his lips turned down at the corner makes it clear that he is not joking.

Later that night when we are lying in bed both drifting off to la la land in each others arms, after one quick,passionate round of lovemaking,which I did not think would happen after the whole pink letter fiasco,the words from the small parchment floats to my mind,her exact words being "We don't deserve this,I never did anything to you against your will",yeah that was until she pushed me over the ledge.

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